5 Things I Learned About My Marriage During the Pandemic

Wow, things are finally getting back to normal (ish?) here where we are in Manitoba, Canada. Most stores have opened up, with some restrictions, and groups are starting to gather, albeit with restrictions. How are things where you live? As we emerge from our burrows with our wild hair, it seems like the perfect time to reflect on what we may have learned during this time.

For me, as a marriage blogger, I thought it would be cool to think about what I have learned about my marriage during the forced isolation. My husband and I have been married for twelve years now (I confess I had to look that up!) and have had seasons where we had no time together, and other seasons when we were together a little too much.

Well, in this season, we spent a lot of time together. I wonder if you can relate? Like so many, we were together 24-7, without even the possibility of going out to a restaurant for reprieve. You might call it closeness on steriods. These have been hard times, for sure. There are some hidden gems to be found, though, that were uncovered during the storm. Here are five things I discovered about my marriage during the quarantine of 2020. As you read, think about what you learned about your relationship during this time.

1. There\’s No One I Would Rather Have by My Side

I learned that there\’s no one I would rather have on my side during a crisis than my husband. Now, don\’t get me wrong. Our relationship is far from perfect. We scrap it out sometimes, still, after twelve years of marriage.

But there is absolutely no person in the world I would rather have had sharing my space than the man I call husband. There\’s something about bad and scary times to help you see who you really trust and who you can rely on.

2. He Really Is My Best Friend

I discovered that he really is my best friend. What is a friend? Most of all, it\’s sometime you can laugh with, share with and be yourself with. Getting to spend time with him during this crisis has confirmed that he really is a wonderful companion.

At a time when we have been cut off from seeing our friends, I had one friend that I still got to see. He has called me his best friend in the past, and these times helped me to appreciate that friendship in a whole new way.

3. His Sense of Humour Saves Me

I found out that his sense of humour often saves me from going to a dark place of despair. Lets face it: these are some ominous days we are living in. Some nights . I wake up at 3:00 am, thoughts racing. I sit awake until I can see a glimpse of the sun shining over the trees.

During these worst of times, I am so grateful that I married a very funny guy. When a group of men get together, he is known as the funny one. His wit is quick and sharp. And he\’s goofy. Thank you, LORD, for his goofiness! I did not realize how much I rely on that crazy sense of ha-ha until I needed it the most.

4. Boundaries Give Us a Sense of Freedom

I discovered that I actually can spend more time with him than I thought, as long I set boundaries. Let me give an example. My usual routine is to get up, read my Bible and pray during the first hour I am up. Often, he sleeps in during that time and everything works out. Well, one morning, he got up early and I felt myself tense up.

As an introvert, having my solitude is really important to me. This forced isolation makes it hard for us quieter types to get our quiet. All of our wonderful togetherness, to be honest, was getting on my last nerve. I did not want to take out on him but I needed a change.

So, I came up with a solution. I put some headphones on and just said, \”pretend I\’m not here. I need some introvert time.\” And he understood. We did not have a row and no one\’s feelings were hurt. I set boundaries and we learned one more way to live together while still being ourselves.

5. Communication is Everything

I learned that communication is everything! Living so closely together for two months has shown for communication on steroids. And we have become better at it. Telling each other what we want has worked wonders.

I think this is the biggest gem we discovered during the storm: that the more direct we can be with each other, the more intimate we become. Although telling the truth of what we want can be awkward and sometimes even painful, it almost always ends up better in the end.

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Well, these are the five things I learned about my marriage during the crazy times. Now, it\’s your turn. What did you learn about your relationship during the last three months? Can you relate to some of the lessons I learned? I would love if you would share in the comments below.